I went into the weekend feeling gradually worse. I agonized over the fact that I couldn’t function at optimal speed or with much clarity and that was driving me nuts. I kept saying : “If I focus on only resting and taking care of myself it will all be over sooner and then I can get back up and running.” But then I didn’t really want to have to do that. It takes too much effort to do nothing when you want to do so much. Don’t you think?
Finally, I gave in yesterday. I just was. Gulping back oolong tea and being very zen. Om. It was great. I curled up on the couch covered in my chocolate-coloured faux fur throw, watched movies and TED talks and just ommmmed my way to a peaceful place. Now, it is true that I also vacuumed and did about 5 loads of laundry but I consider those things to be necessities like eating and sleeping.
While at home this past week/weekend, I traded my cluttered desk for the dining table which is drenched in beautiful daylight pouring through our big bay window and newly dressed in hot pink. Hot pink or fuchsia is my om colour. I know that may seem very un-zen to some but pink is associated with nurturing. It is warm and comforting. It is also a strong and hopeful colour and when I need a bit of a boost, I think pink. Pink is the colour I most associate with my mom. (In fact, she wore fuchsia for the wedding.) And that is probably why I find myself drawn to pink when I need a little TLC.
Now that I am all quiet and peaceful, it is time to toss myself back into the fray. Today begins another race to the finish line with two proposals patiently waiting to be drafted, developed and submitted over the next 10 days. I think this calls for more oolong tea.
Say it with me now – om.