The last two weeks have been a bit of a blur. Since starting my new contract, I have had nothing but a constant stream of chaos and transition. I don’t consider this a negative thing at all. But it definitely comes with growing pains. I was reading Marie Forleo’s post today on busting through your upper limit. Yep. I am totally there. It feels tiring and uncomfortable but really good too.
I had this moment of zen yesterday while stuck on the streetcar for probably an hour during the evening rush. I was carefully and unemotionally recounting the day’s events – the call I made to a new hire for the Sprout team, the wholesome lunch at Ravi Soups with colleagues, the delayed laugh at myself after a bird pooped on my arm (about the fourth time in my life this has happened to me), the senior’s moment in forgetting my blackberry, the downpour I experienced while racing back to the TIG office to retrieve it, the thoughtful hugs from people I hardly know, the minutes ticking past me… I could feel my anxiety level try to creep back up on me. My stomach was empty and my head was pounding. Finally, I shook my head as if it were an etch-a-sketch and suddenly, my mind was blank. Then all was left was my breath and a mantra I chose to repeat over and over and over to myself. Finally…my stop.
Recently, I have been unapologetic in pushing past all sorts of barriers. Things that have been sitting on my to-do list for the last two years are meeting their maker in an either do-or-die fashion. There is no more waiting.
The pair of sunglasses pictured above remind of this truth in my life. I bought those sunglasses for $10 at Target in New York when I lived there in 2005-2006. At that time I had become a shell of a person (sorry to say) and I was faced with the greatest obstacle I had ever encountered in my life – myself. I was the barrier. I was the limit. If you have ever gone toe-to-toe with me on anything, you will know that I am unlikely to step aside or back down. I couldn’t get out of my own way. I had to actually bust through myself to get there.
And now I’m ready to do it again.