Wife-guilt

(Photo via Google)

Unless you have been living under a rock these past few days, you may have seen various status updates/tweets about my AMAZING experience at re:Vision 2010. Since I landed at YYZ a week ago, I have been on nearly one-track. Unusually focused. Events that took place on Saturday launched all of this crazy GOODNESS in my world and I have been running with it. But as with most things in life, when much attention gets shot in one direction, little moves in the others.

iNSPiRED PRACTiCE is my ‘baby’. It is my own personal creation that requires nurturing and challenging in order to live up to its full potential. With all of this intense focus being showered on iNSPiRED PRACTiCE and its development, I started to feel like I might be neglecting my husband and home life. And when I get little inklings like that, it makes my heart hurt and my throat tighten up. The emotion underlying these psychosomatic manifestations is none other than guilt.

It is the same thing I experience when I attend a yoga class where some yogi gets up on his soap box and spews doctrine about being grateful for what I have when others have so little. (Like I am not aware but seriously this is not why I am at a yoga class! Can I just be allowed to think about myself for 60 minutes and not all of the tragic social injustices and dying children in the world? Ahhhhh!) It seems like the second I try to focus on something slightly selfish I run the risk of experiencing that awful guilt.

So there I was last night riddled with wife-guilt. Tossing and turning in bed. And then after a wonderfully productive morning, I was hit with the best idea: offer to take my husband out on a movie night to see Hot Tub Time Machine. Yes, THAT movie. He mentioned that he wanted to see it. I thought some of the dialogue in the trailers was quite clever but I know this is nothing more than a 2010 version of American Pie. Still, he wanted to see it. So why not?

I called him up and and extended the invitation. He seemed very touched and oddly, through this gesture, realized how very much I love him if I am willing to go see Hot Tub Time Machine. But he said no (I guess the invitation was enough). And then, came home early and brought me flowers. 🙂

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