Brad & Manny on ‘The Art of Marriage’

Brad & Manny: Married August 14, 1999

We were thrilled to be asked to be a part of this project. As the deadline loomed, my hubby and I sat down to brainstorm some ideas around what I would write (I am more of a story teller and writer then he is, so it was a natural fit for my skills).

In keeping with the central idea of ‘the art of marriage’ we talked about what makes art. What is the central theme of art? What is the goal of art? That was the framework we used to hang our insights on. To us, the main theme of art is to communicate the internal world or vision of the artist to the external world.

To us, the art of our marriage has been sharing our inner thoughts and views on how we see the world with each other, respecting the other person’s point of view and using those to build a life, and communicate who we are to the larger world.

Like many artists we started the masterpiece of our life together, inspired by the example of others, yet having somewhat less constraints on what our marriage ‘should’ or ‘ought’ to look like. In reality all couples are free to choose the ‘how’ of their relationships; it is just that many, for a variety of reasons, do not fully embrace that freedom to create an original work of art.

Over the 13 years that we have been together, we have strived to allow room for the other to grow; to empower our relationship and home to be a space and place where we can support ourselves and each other. We have sought to laugh often; forgive each other with abandon; love deeply; admit our hurts and celebrate our joys. We embrace the reality of our relationship as evolving and changing; that it will look, feel and be different from season to season and that we shouldn’t  ‘should’ our relationship to death.

In each season, we have sought to work together to accomplish our dreams – whether they be of travel, either in Canada or abroad; buying a home; creating our careers; planning parties for our daughter or getting a family dog – we’ve realised that while we may share many mutual interests and passions, it is ok for each of us  to have our ‘own thing’ as well.

I guess you can say we are committed to the process of making our lives a living masterpiece in whatever ways feel right for us – given our past, our present and our desires for the future. And really, that is what marriage is all about, isn’t it?

[Editor’s Note: Brad has just launched his EPIC project – Doorways. Check it out here.]

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