Jessie & Paul on ‘The Art of Marriage’

Jessie & Paul: Married September 05, 1998

My name is Jessica and I have been married to my husband Paul for over 11 years. It will be 16 years this April that we have been a couple. We were married on September 5th, 1998. This was a huge experience for me. I came from a broken home (i.e. divorced parents) so I really had no ‘married’ role models to follow. I really did not know what a ‘good’ marriage looked like. So it has all been trial and error!

When we first moved in together, it was great. We loved it. We were finally alone together and it was like ‘playing house’. But soon we would find out that things couldn’t stay perfect. It’s really a learning experience – to see what bothers the other. I hated being the one to always do the dishes, as we did not have a dishwasher yet. Paul hated the fact that I taped my soap operas during the day while at work and watched them in the evening…when we had only one TV. It was quickly rectified. We got another TV! Crisis averted.

In our first few nights together, I discovered that Paul snored. Not a bit but VERY loudly! This was not fun for me. So what started to happen was that Paul would fall asleep watching TV and I would sneak to bed before him so I could get a good night sleep. He would eventually end up in bed. It seemed to work for us both.

We have added to our family since then and now have 3 kids. I LOVE being a mother and a wife. This is another challenge in our marriage – to still have time for US. To always make sure that we are not just mom and dad. We try to have a date night once a month. It’s a great way to be just Paul and Jessie.

I married my best friend and my soul mate, the one person that I could tell all to and loves me for me. I am not perfect. I know that I do things that get under his skin, and vice versa. But we just fit.  Don’t get me wrong we can have disagreements and argue, but talking and working out our problems has been our goal. We have 3 children and we try to teach them that we can have a ‘fight’ and its okay because we also show them that we can make up and its a normal experience.

How do we make our marriage work? I believe that respect, trust, honesty and of course, love is what makes our marriage work. There is the spontaneity that I love –  like getting a rose or a card ‘just because’. Every morning Paul leaves me a note on the kitchen counter – just wishing me a great day with a reminder that he loves me. I always respond the same way – with a note – to read when he returns home a few hours after I have left. I like to say it’s the little things that capture your heart. He caught mine and keeps it beating…

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