Weekend recap: It was a challenging weekend. Pretty uncharacteristic of most my weekends. Saturday’s rock climbing adventure surfaced a lot of difficult scary things for me. Rock climbing is an exercise in trust and faith and I wasn’t prepared to undertake either on Saturday.
I have been struggling with the uncontrollable direction my life has been heading lately. I am not a go-with-the-flow kind of person. I love challenges. Yes. When I am in control of them. But put me on a vertical rock trying to feel my way around with tiny crags to cling to. No thanks.
There is no worse thing than feeling trapped – you can’t move up and you can’t let go enough to repel down. Why? Because you are ten feet above the ground and no matter how many people tell you that you will be lowered to safety, you know that you can trust no one more than you trust yourself. So you hang on. In panic. And that’s what I did.
I realized that the only person forcing me between a rock and a hard place was myself. There is no law that requires me to climb the rock. There is no life skill that I can acquire from the experience. There is no benefit to my mental health to push myself to do something I don’t want to do. At all. And so on Saturday, I learned to belay (knowledge which I suspect I will never use again) and I learned to be as patient as possible (within reason since I was giving up 8 hours of my life to do this) while Mike had his fill of rock climbing for the day. Basically, I learned that there are certain things I don’t want to experience. Rock climbing is one of them.
Sunday I got organized. I planned. I sorted. I organized. I discussed strategies. I made decisions. I asked for help. Later on, I took pictures. Of cute kittens. Like this one.
Back to today: I got an early start. Which made me feel AWESOME! So much got accomplished by 11am that I can now head off to the post office to drop off some goodies for special people.
What’s on for this week? Finalizing reports. Movie watching. Hot yoga. Celebrating a birthday. Hosting relatives. Visiting the AGO. Relaxing.